Date: Sun, 09 Mar 1997 13:27:22 -0800 From: thefews To: jenkins@rrnet.com Subject: An MST3K fanfic This story is a ripoff of the "Mystery Science Theater Adventures" series by Emi Briet. It even has the same basic format. But what the hell, I had fun with it anyway. :) And now, the boring disclaimer thingie: All MST3K characters(Mike, Joel, Crow, Tom, Gypsy, Cambot, Dr. Forrester, Frank) are copyright of Best Brains. Croooow, Cassiopea, and AgentJ are copyright of whoever thought 'em up. MST Adventures and its theme song are copyright of Emi Briet. That said, let's get on with it. This story takes place directly after Emi Briet's "Zero Hour"(well, insert it between the story taking place in midieval times and the story about being stuck in the DC Universe) To read her stories(you have to read the previous season to understand "Zero Hour"), go to http://www.cybernothing.org/jdfalk/mst3kadv/reruns.html#SEASON1. Now, the story. Trapped In IRC FORRESTER: Well, boobie, you survived! JOEL: Yeah, it makes me feel all warm inside, you know? CROW: Uh, Joel, Mike's still missing. THEME: In the not too distant future, September of '96 Dr. Forrester had just received his latest load of flicks Too late to bring back Mike and Joel So the future is where he had to go A return trip home was set in place But short-circuiting the time machine warped them out of space!! The Satellite's now jumping, from year to year to year Mike Nelson remains missing, giving everyone cause to fear Now keep in mind they can't control where the time-jumps begin or end Pray for Dr. F and Frank and Joel, and also their robot friends.... ROBOT ROLL CALL Cambot (saves the day) Gypsy (whatta pilot) Tom Servo (gotcha voice back) Croooow! (still the wisecracker) "Is this jump the jump back home," they wonder every day So repeat to yourself, "It's just a file," and let the story go where it may On MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER ADVENTURES!!! (The SOL makes its landing in a VERY weird looking place) (Mike, Joel, and the 'bots leave the Satellite) CROW: Geez, look at this place! Looks like someone decorated it with microchips and circuits! JOEL: Only the microchips aren't very 'micro'! (It's true. The smallest microchip is half as tall as Mike.) MIKE: This is scary. GYPSY: Hey look, there are people over there! (They walk over the microchip-covered floor towards where people are talking.) CROW: Whoa, this is weird. (turning his attention to the corner) Whoa! That looks like--that's.... (A robot that looks exactly like Crow is sitting in the corner! It seems that the robot has been saying "Hello" for several minutes now and no-one has paid much attention.) CROW: Whoa, who--*what* are you?!? (The robot gets up and goes to Crow. When the robot speaks, a female voice comes out.) OTHER CROW: Don't you know my name?? Geez!! CROW: No, I didn't know....why do you look like me... OTHER CROW: Oh hell, I'll tell you my name. I'm Croooow. As to why -- CROW: HEY! You stole my name! (Croooow looks blankly at Crow.) CROOOOW: Get real, my name has three more 'o's in it than yours; how could I have stolen it? Anyway, I look like you because -- waitaminnit, are you Crow? THE Crow? CROW: Well... TOM: If you're talking about a wisecracking robot from the Satellite of Love, yes. CROOOOW: And are you the REAL Tom Servo?? TOM: Yup. CROOOOW: (turning to Gypsy) And you-- GYPSY: That's right. CROOOOW: Cambot? Joel Hodgson? Mike Nelson? (Cambot nods.) MIKE: That's me, Mike Nelson. JOEL: Robinson! Not Hodgson! ROBINSON! CROOOOW: What, are you two playing your characters? Come on. (to someone else) HEY! AgentJ! Check this out! The REAL Crow, Cambot, Tom Servo, and Gypsy! AGENTJ: WHAT? The robots are REAL?? TOM: We most certainly are! AGENTJ: Uh, Croooow, you better change your name, or we'll have a nick collide! (Joel calls a huddle.) JOEL: Guys, I think I know where we are. CROW: Where? JOEL: Think about it. "Nick Collide"? "You should know my name"? "My name has three more 'o's than yours"? Where else? MIKE: Oh my god. CROW, TOM, GYPSY: Where?!?? MIKE: IRC!!!! CROW:(stunned) IRC? Internet Relay Chat? (Joel nods.) 'BOTS: You mean we're stuck in the Internet? MIKE: Until the auto-jump bounces us somewhere else. 'BOTS: SCARY!!!!! JOEL: Like it or not, we're stuck with it. (They break huddle.) TOM: Hey, Crow, look what Croooow is doing. (Croooow is leaning down and typing stuff into a microchip. Gypsy leans over and looks.) GYPSY: ...."/nick Cassiopea" CROW: She's changing her nickname! JOEL: Yeah, 'cause if she doesn't, either you or her or both would get bounced out of IRC. She could log back on, but you..... CROW: SCARY! (Croooow presses the 'Enter' key. Gypsy recites the server message.) GYPSY: ..."You are now known as Cassiopea" (Instantly Croooow changes shape and substance, changing from a gold robot to an attractive, black-haired young woman dressed in a toga of midnight blue silk. It is studded with little diamonds.) TOM: She changed herself to Cassiopea the queen! (A light blinks on Tom's chest.) CROW: Not long till the auto-jump bounces us outta here. CASSIOPEA: Say what??? (Cass, c'mon. Read the stories by Emi Briet. They'll bring you up to speed.) CASSIOPEA: Oh, ok. TOM: Thanks for explaining that, author, but who's Emi Briet?? (Never mind.) TOM: Oh. Ok. (Another light blinks.) CROW: Are you trying to end the story faster? (DUH!) CROW: I love your attitude. (Thanks) CROW: I was being sarcastic! (So was I.) MIKE: Hey Crow, you don't seem to be getting off on the right foot with the author. CROW: DUH! (Even though I always tend to LIKE sarcastic, weird, and some times mean characters, sometimes they can get on my nerves. Like Crow here.) CROW: Grrrr..... (Hey, while we've been chatting, did you know the time machine is about to take the Satellite somewhere else?) ALL: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! (They run to the Satellite and get inside just as the auto-jump starts to bounce them to another time, another place.) The End -- Lisa Jenkins By day a clever comic magician, by night...Agent J jenkins@rrnet.com URL = http://rrnet.com/~jenkins/