(to the tune of "Don't Steal This Song" by Hot Waffles and Raymond & Scum)
Lyrics 2007 Emi M. Briet

Well I'm ready to sing, and I know that I'm not the best
And I wanna be funny, but I don't seem to compare to the rest
Well I surfed and I surfed all night long
Finally found the perfect song
That'll blow them all away
With surprise and mouths agape
So they'll stop and they'll grab my mike
And say, "You god-damned fuckin' dyke
Are you just stupid?"
Yeah I guess I was stupid

I stole this song
I was feelin' pretty lazy
So I did something crazy
I stole this song
A beat by Junior Vasquez
On top of Jerry Lewis
I stole this....

So now I guess I was wrong when I copied the other acts
I try to be original but to the web I just go right back
Well I surfed and I surfed and I lost my soul
I wanna reach that elusive goal
Where I blow them all away
But success is far away
I used to have some comedian friends
But they saw me perform again
It's not funny...

I stole this song
This is not some karaoke
What I did's not okey-dokey
I stole this song
I acted like a baby
'Cause I was under pressure
I stole this...

I stole this song
I thought that it was great
But I got lynched anyway
I stole this song
I'm the one with pen and paper
At every show you play I stole this song